How are you?
On a Sunday evening I and my friend were taking a small walk around, as we were waiting for another one to turn up in 15 minutes, on the way my friends neighbor, elderly lady asks him “ela unnav amma ‘X’” for which my friend gives her the most common lie or let’s say obligatory answer “nenu bagunnanu aunty” and we move from there. On our small walk we discuss it further but he quietly dismisses the argument saying she was just an elderly woman and should not matter much. Then the usual fun, jokes and weekly updates went on.
Today again while starting for office the same question continued “How are you?” I started, counting the number of times today people ask me "How are you?” or "How ya' doin'?" (A little posh version), there were quite a big number of people who asked me the question and it has really started to disturb me a little. I don't mean to be unfriendly here, but "How are you?" is not really used as a question but rather a long way to say a simple "hello Raghu". As a rule, no one expects to get a real answer for that question but instead, there's always the obligatory, "Good, and how are you?" and some even more quickly say "Good" in response as we pass swiftly to do our respective jobs.
And sometimes, there's no answer at all; just a quick blink of eyes with a smile. I feel rude not answering, or that I am wasting time (mine and the other person's) by giving a real answer when neither of us is ready to have a good conversation based on the individuals answer. I feel that most people who say "How are you?" really don't care at that moment. They're on their way somewhere. And the dirtier truth is that, while I always care about how people are, at the moment I, too, am busy and not prepared for a conversation about someone's wellbeing. Now on I will make a conscious effort change the way I greet people.
May be I will try and say, "Nice to see you ‘X’." or give a quick compliment, as in "Hi ‘X’ nice dress!" I'm being friendly here rather than feeling rude, they're paying attention to what I say, and I'm making people feel good (Should try this with girls and may be can start the day with a little flirting as well). After all, who doesn't perk up at a compliment? Hmmmm? (And with all those beautiful women, whose smile can brighten your day).If you still got some better lines please do share…. I am waiting for your answer...
Today again while starting for office the same question continued “How are you?” I started, counting the number of times today people ask me "How are you?” or "How ya' doin'?" (A little posh version), there were quite a big number of people who asked me the question and it has really started to disturb me a little. I don't mean to be unfriendly here, but "How are you?" is not really used as a question but rather a long way to say a simple "hello Raghu". As a rule, no one expects to get a real answer for that question but instead, there's always the obligatory, "Good, and how are you?" and some even more quickly say "Good" in response as we pass swiftly to do our respective jobs.
And sometimes, there's no answer at all; just a quick blink of eyes with a smile. I feel rude not answering, or that I am wasting time (mine and the other person's) by giving a real answer when neither of us is ready to have a good conversation based on the individuals answer. I feel that most people who say "How are you?" really don't care at that moment. They're on their way somewhere. And the dirtier truth is that, while I always care about how people are, at the moment I, too, am busy and not prepared for a conversation about someone's wellbeing. Now on I will make a conscious effort change the way I greet people.
May be I will try and say, "Nice to see you ‘X’." or give a quick compliment, as in "Hi ‘X’ nice dress!" I'm being friendly here rather than feeling rude, they're paying attention to what I say, and I'm making people feel good (Should try this with girls and may be can start the day with a little flirting as well). After all, who doesn't perk up at a compliment? Hmmmm? (And with all those beautiful women, whose smile can brighten your day).If you still got some better lines please do share…. I am waiting for your answer...
Same question everywhere only answers differ. Here most ppl reply saying "not too bad" and somehow i dont like this answer.I mean negative words to describe ur state dont seem nice.Instead "i am good" is soothing to ears and send positive energy even if there is no 100% truth in ur reply.This is just a gesture to greet neone with no intensions of where the conversation is going to head at that moment.So answering i am good or i am fine is not rude and is perfeclty fine when u greet ppl in a glance and have no time for conversation.Infact i feel How is life? is the question that cannot be answered in single word,but still this question is asked expecting a one word answer :) and sometimes we have to find the one word.
ReplyDeleteYou have taken a resolution on a good day(Krishnastami - Lord krishna) to greet in a new way.the king of hearts.I like the idea.Rock on ;)
Thanks Siri, unknowingly happened on that day but surely making in an effort towards it. lets see what results it shows up!!!
ReplyDeleteYes Majid, you can start with that line but be more polite with the tone so that you do not scare them away!!!
ReplyDeleteHmm well did I actually notice this in you all this while .... Have to check the next time :-)
ReplyDelete