The Struggle 5.50

Was just chilling out and passing time and a thought just came by about “Marriage”. Then felt it would be good to pen down what I went through and that too at a time when we would be on the verge of completing 5 years of married life.

This would not be about what all happened during the marriage but about what happened even before I came to a point where I was sure of saying “I am going to get married”.

I will break this down into stages for better understanding; my profile intro on the blog “A Brahmin Boy” itself is a good indication of what would the process be like, Then why should I write about it?
Just because the times have changed and the way people see an individual also changed during this period of time.

Stage 1:

For us matching of horoscope is a must and I cannot even tell the number of prospects my parents looked at, this is one hell of a tedious task. Even after horoscopes match, if boy did not like girl or vice versa happens then you are back to stage 1. Only once we are given a “Go” here, we move to stage 2.

Stage 2:

This one is most exciting part; an instance where you feel you have solved some part of a mystery story and ready for the next half. Here the boy and girl are not interacting anywhere but just the respective parents. There are several criteria that have to go in favor of both parties and only then we commence to the next stage.

In good old days, the boy to be working and from a known family was good enough to get an alliance, this is one aspect where I think “Change” happened.

The initial screening used to be somewhat like this:

• “Ohh your boy is not an Engineering graduate!!”

I have heard few cases where in they were also specific on what branch of engineering one is from. May be there will be people, for whom it is fine even if the individual is working in a call center after doing “Engineering”. I knew, for some, mere having that degree could increase their dowry valuation but in our case where dowry is a far possibility, it was making a big difference to me

• “Does he have option of going to US or is he interested in going abroad?”

Irrespective of what the girl is doing I need to be in US or at least have that option. What countries one has to be in is also very choosy US, Canada, Australia would automatically garner more respect and the more is the possibility of the alliance going to next stage.

Considering I failed the above mentioned criteria it come down to below.

• “Where is your boy working?”

For most of the parents, you are truly working if you are in the most happening companies [Back in the day, to name a few “Satyam”, “Infosys” etc.]. Only those, working here were the ones to whom parents would entrust the girl with and remaining all could go to hell.
We would say he is working in “Z”company and people would go blank and be like ……”we have not heard of this company at all”. Our trump card here would be “it is a new MNC” it did work out few times and in 2 instances people called to my office and you guys know for what?

• “What is the position and where is the office?” seems very simple right? I told you Times have changed!!

Digital Marketing/Online Marketing, the moment they hear this the whole world goes upside down and then I mention “Somajiguda”, place where my office is located….that’s it!! At that very moment I become a fraud or someone who is hiding vital information. Few even thought I was working in some jewellery store as marketing manager.(“Somajiguda" is famous for having many jewellery stores)

Is the company not located in HITEC City? Sometimes they behave like, what ever be the job it should be in HITEC city (The most important criteria if you do not qualify previous mentioned stages?). One of my friend, out of frustration even said “Whatever shit you do, do it in HITEC city, only then they will talk”

• “What does he have??” Shifts…….

Leave alone me not having a house, car, bank balance and properties etc. etc. I was working in shifts and this was the last nail in the coffin called alliance. If after we cross all these stages and screenings, I would be eligible for the next half of the mystery story.

Stage 3:

Boy and “The Girl” meet for the first time…this is called “pellichoopulu”. If all goes well here and girls side like me for Looks, behavior, attitude and what not…….this will be taken to the next level of discussions.

Stage 4:

“The discussion” stage. This is were the next level of ammo is hidden and is laid out with military precision…I mean in the couple lives (if ever they marry). The couple can feel the tremors of this ammo at later stage in their life.

People talk about what each one will be giving to the other, how the marriage will be done and what rituals to be followed. Any discomfort even at this stage is valid enough reason to push you back to stage 1.
After all the struggle I reached the next level.

Stage 5:

Clearing me through all these stages, providing me much needed relief with this search, and proving that someone somewhere is made for you, came a ray of light… “My shining Light”.

“Mission Accomplished!!” On one good Independence Day I got into In Dependence and few months later DONE…..matter closed, khel katam dukaan bandh, and one more wicket down etc. etc. jargon's can be used to describe the situation.

Happy Anniversary!!